I left facebook. I am hoping that this self-inflicted ban lasts forever…but only the Lord knows. Many of you won’t understand why, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I was turning into a person who thought of their life as a facebook status update. It wasn’t that I spent hours trolling the walls of people, but I spent too much time thinking of my next status, and what kind of reaction would I get. If I put up a blog, I would be affected by reader stats, and comments. Not good. I was addicted, and I didn’t like myself anymore.
The ‘inner narcissist’ was a beast I had to feed all too often.
What is it in some of us? Obviously we all have our own issues, our own addictions, and our own hurdles…but this inner self can be a monster that constantly threatens to control us. If there is a constant need for self-promotion, won’t we just get in the way of what Jesus has planned for our lives?
We live in a free society, and in that we can be grateful. But do we live in a society where we are free to be ourself? I don’t think so. If one doesn’t fit into ‘social norms’ then one is considered odd, deviant, and ‘other’. There are the circles we want to fit into. The good christian, the exceptional parent, the artist, the best friend…etc…(fill in the blank)! If we don’t fit into those circles we often change the core of who we are, or we hide the core of who we are, to belong.
And to belong to what…?
A group that doesn’t accept you for who you are?
A place where we feel that we are superior?
Someone that “matters”???
I can’t do it anymore. My social self was not my true self. There were elements that were true…but not at the deepest core.
When I compromise who I am to be accepted or liked, then I have lost what my true purpose is.
And that is a child of God. A human being, flawed, slightly crazy, questioning creation of an Almighty Creator. I can do nothing without HIM. I don’t want to do anything without HIM. I don’t want to be a reflection of society, I want to reflect HIM!! How can I be His hands and feet when I want to fit into a ‘normal’ that isn’t from Him?
Time to live again….