This morning was a morning where I was given the opportunity to share from the heart. Speaking at the Finnish service in our church is something I enjoy…just don’t tell anyone, because…well, I don’t know if I can handle speaking more than a few times a year. (Good thing hubby doesn’t read my blog.) Getting up there is also really hard. I grew up with ministry leaders, in my own family, and in the extended family/friends around me. I know that they are far from perfect. That pedestal is often a precarious perch. Only God’s grace keeps some of them from falling on their face. And some fall, only to find true redemption. Another beautiful process, but a different topic….
So, that brings me back to the title of the ‘made-up mask’. This morning I was putting on the “face” for church. I put that same “face” on every time I go out into public. I have to try and hide the blemishes, and the imperfections that society tells me are to be hidden. (One has to also squeeze into tight undergarments, so that the lines and muffin tops don’t show, so that we can “look normal”.)
This morning something happened.
Our pastor was announcing our monthly prayer and fasting week, and I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that I needed to fast from make-up!!! What??? But Jesus, I don’t even wear that much!! I will frighten the people when they see what I really look like! I will constantly be self-conscious and worry that I will be an object of pity when they see all the blemishes. Can’t I just fast from Netflix? Or sugar? “That is exactly why, Saara,” He says, “you need to stop wearing that mask. Be vulnerable. Be real. Be who I created you to be. Created in my image. Society says one thing, but I say that true beauty comes from the inside. A place where you are vulnerable, before me, and before others. Your vanity needs to be broken off.”
Time to be obedient. I just hope that the lights are on dim every where I go this next week! …or forever how long this process is going to be. 🙂
I’ll probably end up venting here…
(picture off pinterest…no name attached)