I have a “junk drawer” and if I can be honest, I have quite a few of them. They hide the stuff I don’t know what to do with, and don’t want people to see. Most of the time I can’t find anything I need in them, they just accumulate junk. But if I do find something I need in them, I feel justified in having these drawers full.
There are a few junk drawers in my life as well. Places where I hide my junk, things about me that I don’t others to see. Most of the stuff in those drawers are clutter, but some of them are really things I try to hide. I don’t look through them often, they make me cringe. I am also too lazy to clean them out. It takes too much work, and too much honesty.
There are bits of my history that I don’t want to let go of. After all, I need to have them around when I have a pity party. There are also things I take out when I am feeling a little rebellious, whether it be against God or another person. I savor those feelings of hatred and bitterness…at that moment, they feel good. Not good for me, but good!! Am I ready to give them up? And am I willing to see the signs that I have too many of them collected?
Is my junk drawer getting too full? When it starts to overflow, then it’s hard to keep control…and it starts to spill into everything I do. There is also a deeper question here…do I want to clean them out? Where will I go when I want to rebel? Or feel sorry for myself?
This process is ongoing. Right now I feel a time of renewal creeping in. The awareness that a deep cleansing is taking over my mind. I know that this requires commitment, but also a self awareness…seeing how the clutter comes in, and how to prevent it.
Nothing but the daily immersion into Gods’ Word will make a difference. Daily meditation and praise. Asking for forgiveness and renewal, and being honest with myself and others. Slowly, but surely, there will be a result. When I fill these drawers with song, Bible passages, and words of love, it will be inevitable that the junk will fall out and disappear.
Otherwise…I don’t want to be in this place next year at this time…time for a deep clean. A new beginning. A new year!
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