One of the hardest things to do is to surrender. I have fought it all my life. I want things on my terms, with my conditions. I don’t know if all are the same, but many are. We can surrender certain things, at certain times…but letting it all go without any knowledge of where the journey takes you takes a huge leap of faith.
I was ready for that leap.
After being angry and confused most of my life, let’s try it God’s way for once.
This might sound weird to some of you, after all I was in full time mission work. It looked like my life was given in serving Jesus. But, deep down I knew that I hadn’t given it all. I still held on to childhood hurts, and bitterness. And I knew my faith didn’t quite reach all the way to believing with my “whole heart”.
I had an image to maintain….and had maintained that image to the best of my ability. The good christian. The one with answers. The one who knew God’s word. The one who was willing to live/serve anywhere that God asked to.