Tag Archives: Life

Nothing to Lose…

What do I have to lose?

You might be wondering what I am talking about.

This last year has been one of those journeys that I used to only read about. The “great awakening”!! It has been a year where the tears and laughter have flowed, but also the full spectrum of emotion has also been experienced. From the dizzying heights to “the depths of despair”, as so well said by Anne Shirley. 🙂 I have learned to say what I believe, instead of skirting issues. Standing up for what I believe has been harder, and easier, than I thought it would be. Avoiding conflict and controversy was the way I used to protect myself before. It made life easier to deal with…but darkness was simmering below the surface the whole time. Just waiting to explode. Continue reading Nothing to Lose…

The “Miracle” Question! (part 8)

“If you woke up tomorrow morning, and a miracle had occurred, what would your life look like?”

This is a common question asked by therapists. It helps us to see what we consider the “ideal” life to look like. What is it when we really hope for a miracle?

So, I was asked the “miracle” question.

It took me a few days to really think this through. What would it all look like? What did I secretly hope for?

Inside of me there was a deep longing for security and safety. I craved it in my relationships, work, and finances. It was so tiring feeling like the world was going to cave in at any moment, and I would be left stranded. I didn’t want to worry about anything anymore.

That would be a miracle, wouldn’t it? In an “ideal” world we wouldn’t have anything to worry about. We would be safe.

It took a few days of writing and thinking. I came to realize that this miracle is actually achievable. It just takes full surrender of our fears to Jesus. And that is sometimes the hardest thing of all. How can we surrender these fears, when they have sustained us this far? Continue reading The “Miracle” Question! (part 8)

The Search Continues (Part 3)

How does one learn to define their needs? Or their feelings? What if they don’t know what they need or feel? Especially when the basic needs seem to be met. There are countless words that we can use to express emotion…

dread
suspicious
frustrated
livid
repulsed
dazed
torn
numb
withdrawn
mortified
listless
devastated
frazzled
overwhelmed

and some positive ones…

tender
loving
intrigued
stimulated
optimistic
engrossed
eager
safe
open
dazzled
giddy
passionate
vibrant
thankful
awed

you get the idea…. Continue reading The Search Continues (Part 3)

Falling Leaves

The other day I was having a conversation with someone whom I love dearly. They are tired and worn out. Too much to do, not enough time for rest and meditation. Too many things on their mind, too many choices to make…all of this wipes a person out. I know how it feels, as I have been there so many times. And I’m sure most of you have too.

So many of us live with such high expectations of life. What is it we should be doing at a certain age. What we think we need to accomplish to be acceptable in society, or in our peer group…or in our church. We know that goals are great to have, and are healthy to have as well. They are there to motivate us, to guide us when we don’t see the big picture, and so we need them. But what happens when our goals and dreams overwhelm us? We have been striving, and things start to stagnate or fall apart? Just when we see something happening, we fall down and can’t go any further? And we start to doubt? Continue reading Falling Leaves

Stretch Marks

There are days when I look at my stretch marks and wish them away. It would be nice to wear a cuter bathing suit, or a hipper pair of jeans. I know it’s all about vanity, but I am human, and a woman…can’t help those moments. But these marks are here to stay, and I just have to accept them. After all, they are a physical reminder of growth. A time when my life changed and I became a mother.

Many of us have gone through a rapid stage of growth and have stretch marks that show this rapid transformation. They are that eternal reminder of a time where we experienced discomfort and even pain.

A time where we changed forever. Continue reading Stretch Marks

The Foreteller

If you had the opportunity to see your future, would you do it? So many times I have wished that I could see what was coming, just so I would know what choices to make. Obviously, by making certain choices, I can sort of guide the direction I want to go…but can’t really foretell what the consequences will be until I have lived with that choice. And so many choices lead in directions that bring negative consequences. So many of my choices have… Continue reading The Foreteller