Ruts

When “we are constantly doing the same thing and expecting different results”…that is the definition of stupid…and that defines many of us . We behave the same way in our relationships, work, finances…we don’t change anything…and we wonder why nothing changes?? We think that awareness itself will make the difference, because we are aware of our behavior and thought patterns, but really that is only the first, and easiest, step.

Relationships easily get into a rut. We use the first few years of physical and mental “lust” as the blueprint for what it should be for the rest of the time. It gets confusing when we have to start communicating and compromising. Why can’t things stay the way they were? They can’t…because people change and grow over time. Relationships are constantly evolving from one step to the next. If we can’t go forward with the changes and embrace them, we get out and start again. Many of us then get stuck in the same cycle of starting and ending relationships. We wonder why we are always attracted to the same type! Maybe we should look at ourselves instead. It’s hard to see our own flaws. These flaws of ours are what bring out the behavior in others…but we blame them instead.

Why are we in financial trouble? Because we are still doing what got us there in the first place. Consolidating and downsizing will make very little difference in the long term if the behavior doesn’t change. Taking an HONEST look at ones life is very painful. Why do we do what we do? We can’t stop! Why can’t we control our urges? We let ourselves get caught up in a vicious cycle and can’t get out.

We blame our parents then…that is the reason we behave the way we do, we didn’t get any proper instruction or examples growing up. There comes a point in our lives when we can’t use that excuse anymore. We are now grown up ourselves…we know better. We are in control of our own decisions and problems. No matter how badly we think our parents messed up…our problems today are not their fault, they are ours!

Is there a solution then? Yes…but it’s not easy. It’s called “taking an honest look at ones own self” and changing our own behavior and patterns. Nothing will change if we don’t. There are no easy answers. A life worth living is a life worth exploring to the fullest. We need to take risks. We have to be vulnerable, and honest…with ourselves and others. Embrace change! Even if it one small thing at a time. It doesn’t even have to be a visible change…just a change of attitude and expectation is a good start. Don’t expect it to be easy or fast…everything takes work. And sometimes a lot of time. Enjoy the process….


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