Why do we keep repeating behavior that doesn’t work? The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (I didn’t make that up) Many of us are caught in this pattern of behavior. We wonder why nothing changes? Our relationships always go the same way. Ending in confusion. Life at work never changes, no matter how hard we try. Our relationship to God is stagnant, boring.
So many times I wonder what it is that makes my marriage the way it is. Why doesn’t he get me? How can he still think certain things after so many years of marriage? Depending on my hormones and fatigue level I can usually decipher what’s wrong. Unfortunately, it’s usually because I am repeating the same patterns of behavior that I have not changed in my entire adult life. I say the same things to him, expecting a different response. Then I sulk and mope and think he’s insensitive!! I don’t know if this happens to you?
We spend so much time blaming others for our problems, when we should just look at ourselves. Of course, it is easier to blame others…then we don’t need to deal with our own issues. Looking into our behavioral patterns can be painful. Many aren’t willing to deal with the truth. I know that I spend a lot of time blaming others. Deep down I know that I am the reason why certain things always go a certain way. I have issues with insecurity, communication and personal space…consequently my relationships fall into a certain pattern. It’s not them, it’s me. Hard to say. It hurts the pride. I don’t like what I see, after all I have an image that I need to maintain…I need to feed my personal delusions.
Awareness and transparency is important. When I am feeling brave I ask trusted friends to tell me the truth about what they see. If they are true friends, they will tell the truth…lol! It hurts at times. If you’re not ready to hear it, don’t ask. Many times I have heard it, but haven’t changed my behavior. Again…the definition of stupidity. Change is so hard. It requires self control and a loss of pride. We need a constant check of our thoughts and words. It takes work. Hard work. And it’s easy to slip back into the same patterns of what we are used to.
What does Jesus promise to do? Is He going to walk the path beside you? Will He be the still small voice reminding you of the change you want to make? Yes! Absolutely! Just ask! Delve into the Word. Start to meditate with Him every day. He will show you what you need to change. Be prepared for a fascinating ride. No need to those destructive and repetitive behaviors anymore. He will give you new purpose. A life of honesty.
Psalm 119:105-112, 133-135
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. I have sworn an oath and confirmed it, to heed your righteous ordinances. I am very much afflicted; O Yahweh, revive me according to your word. Please accept the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Yahweh, and teach me your ordinances. My life is in danger continually, yet I do not forget your law. The wicked have laid a snare for me, yet I do not wander from your precepts. I have taken as my own your testimonies forever, for they are the joy of my heart. I have inclined my heart to do your statutes forever, to the end. Direct my steps in your word, and do not let any iniquity gain power over me. Redeem me from the oppression of humankind, that I may heed your precepts. Shine your face on your servant, and teach me your statutes.