As mothers we have a constant demand on our time and our emotions. So many of us can’t let ourselves rest and relax. We run ourselves ragged. We live in the world of guilt…why can’t we be better mothers? Why do I act like a child myself? I find myself comparing my mothering skills to others…ones that are “obviously” doing a much better job. I doubt they ever say anything nasty when they’re tired. They must be constantly reading and playing games with their children.
I think that it’s time to step back and assess where this is coming from. We live in a society where everything is a show and a competition. Even mothering. It’s true…some mothers are natural at it…and some have to work harder. However, each one is doing the best they can with whatever resources they have…be it emotional, spiritual or financial. Each mother is first a human, with all the baggage that comes with it. We bring all of our own childhood experiences into the life we have as a mother. Some of us overcompensate for the shortcomings we perceive that our own mothers had. Some of us can never live up to the sainthood that we saw, and so we try it a different way. Some of us have no experience of knowing our mother, and so we have to make it up as we go.
At this point I need to really pay attention to the good I see in my friends who are mothers, as well as the good I see in myself. Let us be the village that is needed to raise the next generation. The ones with more energy can pull up the ones who are at end of their rope. Let us not compare ourselves to anyone else…but get our rest and assurance from the One who created us just as we are. Let us love our children and not pin unrealistic expectations on them…just as we couldn’t live up to the many of our mothers expectations.
So many of my friends are great mothers…and I hope that they can see what I see in them. Feel free to call me when you need encouragement!! xx
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