For many months I dreamt about starting a blog. Then I would talk myself out of it. It was a vicious cycle of excitement and insecurity. Well, here I go. Come what may. I can’t promise anything…except that there will be grammatical errors and weirdness. What I hope to see in this journey is an opportunity to share what is happening in my life. Lessons learned and mistakes made…there will be many. You will be able to see my love of quotes, and feel free to send me your favorites. This journey of the middle aged fledgling missionary will give you a chance to share in the ups and downs. I will be honest and sometimes might make you uncomfortable. Most of the time I won’t be very spiritual, and that doesn’t mean my faith isn’t a daily part of my life, but that it is so deeply entrenched in there that I don’t have to prove anything. To myself, most of all!
Thanks to those friends that encouraged me in this. You know who you are!! Many of you have helped me get to where I am. Sometimes through painful and honest conversations. You are a blessing to me, and to so many others who come into your lives.
As I hit this midway mark in my life I look back and realize that I had no concept of who I would be and where I would go. I guess I had this idea that I would be more successful in some way. But really? What does that mean? Successful at what? Being a human? Or somehow being meaningful in society? Did success mean financial freedom, or academic superiority, or somehow being famous in the “Christian circles”? Is it good enough to just be important to one person? To help them and see them live a good life? Am I actually selfless enough to be happy with that? Most of the time, I’m not. Deep down there is a part that thinks that I deserve something bigger. But bigger in God’s eyes or my own?…haven’t really figured that out yet.
Maybe blogging will help me figure it out…