For many years I have gone for walks, and watched for communists, terrorists and rapists…they were just lurking out there somewhere. Every noise caused my heart to pound, the sweat would start pouring down my back. I would grit my teeth and keep going, after all, walking is good for me. I need the fresh air and exercise. There would be quite a bit of muttering going on under my breath, “it’s only a squirrel or a bird, calm down!”
That didn’t really work. It took a lot of energy to go outside, even when the weather was perfect.
“I need a dog,” I told my counselor one afternoon.
“Why do you need a dog?”, she asked me. “What do you think you will accomplish by getting one?” Continue reading Let’s Take a Walk
These last few weeks I have been hearing from women…women that are exhausted, angry and burned out. I know what that feels like. It’s a huge burden to bear, and for so many there doesn’t seem to be an answer.
It’s even too tiring to pursue Jesus and His peace. Sitting in church, instead of soaking and absorbing, we watch what others are doing, what they’re wearing, who is sitting with who…and only hear bits and pieces of what is going on. Even then, what we hear doesn’t seem to apply to us and our exhausted minds. When something does hit the spot, we feel a little tingle of hope…and decide to change our patterns and get closer to God and read His word.
We get home and forget everything we learned in just a few short minutes.
Too much happening to even think about getting our spiritual lives into a better place.
What can we do?
What does it mean to sit at the feet of Jesus? Can we even focus for more than 10 seconds without thinking about the “to do” list? Continue reading “Just Rest”
Over the last few weeks I have been sharing my personal journey through therapy, mixed with tidbits from my past. It has been cathartic. Through it all I have heard from so many people, some who think that it was brave (and maybe a bit too much?) and from some who needed to hear someone else’s journey to get hope for their own. Either way, it was something I felt compelled to write. I had the blessing of my parents, and my immediate family…but I tried not to mention their part in this, and as much as I could, I kept them out of it.
And that is because this journey was between God and me. It was about finding Him again, or maybe even for the first time. He is the ultimate healer. He is the one who gave me hope and strength as I started to unravel. He was there all along, and I just needed to see that. Continue reading A New Beginning
One of the hardest things to do is to surrender. I have fought it all my life. I want things on my terms, with my conditions. I don’t know if all are the same, but many are. We can surrender certain things, at certain times…but letting it all go without any knowledge of where the journey takes you takes a huge leap of faith.
I was ready for that leap.
After being angry and confused most of my life, let’s try it God’s way for once.
This might sound weird to some of you, after all I was in full time mission work. It looked like my life was given in serving Jesus. But, deep down I knew that I hadn’t given it all. I still held on to childhood hurts, and bitterness. And I knew my faith didn’t quite reach all the way to believing with my “whole heart”.
I had an image to maintain….and had maintained that image to the best of my ability. The good christian. The one with answers. The one who knew God’s word. The one who was willing to live/serve anywhere that God asked to.
Continue reading Surrender=Healing (part 10)
I was watching my husband do something silly the other day…this occurs a lot in our home (yes)…and asked him a question, “Do you ever experience self-awareness, and stop to contemplate what it is you’re really doing?” We laughed about it, chatted for a few more minutes, and then proceeded to go on our separate way. But something clicked inside my head as I was walking away. How often do we really stop and consciously think about what it is we are doing, or saying?
Do we live a life of routine? Habit?
How many days do we just use up doing the same things over and over? The days just slipping by… Continue reading Conscious Living
I love to plan. It makes the days seem a little easier and the future a bit brighter. Or maybe I should say that I love to dream instead, after all, I have noticed that my plans don’t usually work out very well. But I have seen dreams come true.
There is a saying out there…”people plan, and God laughs.” I think that it more apt to say that, “people plan, and God sighs.” He must just shake His head and wonder why we keep planning and messing things up…we can’t see the BIG PICTURE! He can see our beginning and end, and everything in between. He knows where we are meant to go, but we keep wandering off the path and trying things out on our own. Then when finally we mess it up, we come running back to Him, crying and asking Him WHY???
Why did He let this or that happen? Continue reading The Big Picture