Category Archives: dialogue

“Dear Child, I love YOU…”

These words came to me last night. Thought I’d share them, so you can absorb what the love of Jesus is, and I do believe that they are from Jesus…

“Dear Child. Open your heart and hear my words. Receive them for yourself. I want you to truly experience what my love really is. For many of you the word LOVE is a foreign word, or it might even be a dirty word. Some of you have never experienced love. It might have been given to you with strings. It might have been violent, or deeply inappropriate – even sexual. Some of you have never experienced TRUE LOVE. It didn’t come from your family, or even your spouse.

Today I want you to experience MY LOVE. A love without conditions, a love that doesn’t expect something back. Continue reading “Dear Child, I love YOU…”

When I “Grow Up”?

“So, what are you going to do with your life, now that you are home without kids, and aren’t going back to Africa?” A common question, and I must admit I squirm every time I hear it.

Am I supposed to be “doing” something? What, exactly? I don’t actually know.

In the fall last year I went through a phase where I wanted to “make something of myself.” I was going to go to school, and study something meaningful, like political science, or international relations. The plan was to change the world!!

Then I went through therapy, and deep soul cleansing. And winter.

Back to square one.

Or is it really?

I am back to that same question, but the answer is different now. Continue reading When I “Grow Up”?

How is Love Abusive?

How is Love Abusive?

IT’S NOT!!

Love is NEVER abusive.

Yet coming out, to a theater near you this valentines day, is an expected blockbuster…glorifying abuse, and calling it love!

I remember the weeks before the book came out, and at the bookstore there was a big buildup going on. This book was supposed to be the “it” book of the year! We, as the employees, were supposed to know what the book was about, and be ready for the throngs of women that wanted to buy it. Of course I was curious, how was a romance novel going to be such a big hit? Most women have a certain genre they stick to, and that’s it.

Well, this book had nothing to do with romance. It was under the category of erotica, but sold as a romance, just to make it more palatable for the masses. Continue reading How is Love Abusive?

Wallowing and “Suffering”

I am ashamed to admit that I have spent a lot of time wallowing in my own issues this last month! “Suffering for Jesus” is the phrase I used to make myself feel better, after all, am I not following Him and suffering in the process? I was “too tired” to read His word, and I was “too tired” to make any effort to do anything. Endless hours on Netflix watching Gilmore Girls and Downton Abbey was my way of escaping the “hard life” I was living. “Resting in Jesus” was another phrase that I used to justify this waste of time…

“You are NOT SUFFERING!!”, I heard this a few days ago! Very loudly! Continue reading Wallowing and “Suffering”

The “Miracle” Question! (part 8)

“If you woke up tomorrow morning, and a miracle had occurred, what would your life look like?”

This is a common question asked by therapists. It helps us to see what we consider the “ideal” life to look like. What is it when we really hope for a miracle?

So, I was asked the “miracle” question.

It took me a few days to really think this through. What would it all look like? What did I secretly hope for?

Inside of me there was a deep longing for security and safety. I craved it in my relationships, work, and finances. It was so tiring feeling like the world was going to cave in at any moment, and I would be left stranded. I didn’t want to worry about anything anymore.

That would be a miracle, wouldn’t it? In an “ideal” world we wouldn’t have anything to worry about. We would be safe.

It took a few days of writing and thinking. I came to realize that this miracle is actually achievable. It just takes full surrender of our fears to Jesus. And that is sometimes the hardest thing of all. How can we surrender these fears, when they have sustained us this far? Continue reading The “Miracle” Question! (part 8)

The Search Continues (Part 3)

How does one learn to define their needs? Or their feelings? What if they don’t know what they need or feel? Especially when the basic needs seem to be met. There are countless words that we can use to express emotion…

dread
suspicious
frustrated
livid
repulsed
dazed
torn
numb
withdrawn
mortified
listless
devastated
frazzled
overwhelmed

and some positive ones…

tender
loving
intrigued
stimulated
optimistic
engrossed
eager
safe
open
dazzled
giddy
passionate
vibrant
thankful
awed

you get the idea…. Continue reading The Search Continues (Part 3)