BOARDING SCHOOL SYNDROME!
STRATEGIC SURVIVAL PERSONALITY!
It all sounded so overwhelming. I couldn’t really absorb what was going on in my head. It was getting messed up even more. I would walk around the house in circles, forgetting what I was doing. I would find myself forgetting things, and having conversations with myself that made no sense.
I was restless all of the time. I couldn’t focus on anything. Getting a meal on the table was hard enough work. Forget my work with sewing and fundraising for missions.
I started losing sleep. Continue reading Getting There…. (part 9)
“If you woke up tomorrow morning, and a miracle had occurred, what would your life look like?”
This is a common question asked by therapists. It helps us to see what we consider the “ideal” life to look like. What is it when we really hope for a miracle?
So, I was asked the “miracle” question.
It took me a few days to really think this through. What would it all look like? What did I secretly hope for?
Inside of me there was a deep longing for security and safety. I craved it in my relationships, work, and finances. It was so tiring feeling like the world was going to cave in at any moment, and I would be left stranded. I didn’t want to worry about anything anymore.
That would be a miracle, wouldn’t it? In an “ideal” world we wouldn’t have anything to worry about. We would be safe.
It took a few days of writing and thinking. I came to realize that this miracle is actually achievable. It just takes full surrender of our fears to Jesus. And that is sometimes the hardest thing of all. How can we surrender these fears, when they have sustained us this far? Continue reading The “Miracle” Question! (part 8)
Is it okay to be angry at God?
I think so. He created us, and understands anger.
Is it acceptable to blame God for all of our problems?
Is He the one to blame? Many people believe so. The world is full of anger and rage against God. He gets blamed for the natural disasters, war, and pretty well most of the stuff we, as humans, inflict on ourselves and each other. It is easy to blame God, as He is that unknown entity we tend to ignore unless we have a prayer request.
Who else is there to blame? If we blame ourselves that means we have to take responsibility…and most of us don’t want to take on the burden of changing our perspectives.
Like I said, I was given homework. I went home with papers to fill in. This was supposed to help me understand the emotions I felt. There were lists and charts…”Simple Thought Records”….hmmm. There didn’t seem to be anything simple about my thoughts. They were all over the place. Learning to identify a feeling was much harder than I expected. It’s a good thing there were pages of defined feelings that I could choose from.
As these pages started filling up, there seemed to be an underlying theme. Usually the feelings that I could identify were “aggravation”, “dismay”, “irritation”, “anxious”, “resigned”, “overwhelmed”….you get the idea….they were negative. Part of the assignments were also to give a percentage rate to the emotion. Often mine were between 75% and 100%.
Did this mean that I was an angry person?
Was there hope?
I had spent my entire life trying to fit in. Trying to be a person that other people enjoyed being with. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to belong.
I wanted peace.
to be continued….
“Have you had your hug today?”
This was a question I heard for years, when I used to go to work as a flight attendant. I looked forward to seeing this co-worker. I didn’t get hugs in my daily life, and craved contact with another human being. Those hugs were like therapy. I could feel my body relax and fill with new strength.
It’s so sad that the world has changed so much since those days. We can’t touch anyone without worrying about being charged with some form of harassment. There are countless people walking around us, with no non-sexual contact with another person. Love starved and lonely in a sea of people. This isn’t how we are meant to live. Continue reading Love Revolution
I was watching my husband do something silly the other day…this occurs a lot in our home (yes)…and asked him a question, “Do you ever experience self-awareness, and stop to contemplate what it is you’re really doing?” We laughed about it, chatted for a few more minutes, and then proceeded to go on our separate way. But something clicked inside my head as I was walking away. How often do we really stop and consciously think about what it is we are doing, or saying?
Do we live a life of routine? Habit?
How many days do we just use up doing the same things over and over? The days just slipping by… Continue reading Conscious Living
Did you think about it? Is it possible to make the world a better place? Is it worth trying to live a life that is fully invested in the happiness of others? What’s in it for us? And should it matter?
It should matter. It affects all of us, and all of our surroundings. It infuses light and life into the people that we are invested in. And through them it spreads further. There is a ripple effect in what we do. A kind word to someone who is having a rough day could change their lives…and it takes little effort from us. Continue reading A Better Place (Part 2)